10 New year’s resolutions these cats have already broken

While you’re busy sipping champagne (which is full of calories) this New Year’s eve, you might be promising yourself that this year

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1. kick that drinking problem
2. figure out how to open the door telepathically
3. spend less time sitting on the couch
4. kick that stinky shoe-huffing problem
5. make the dog disappear
6. drop 10 pounds
7. don’t let the humans commit this kind of humiliation
8. grow a decent mustache and become internet famous
9. kick that toilet paper shredding problem
10. stop letting the humans publish videos to the internet without paying royalties

is gonna be the one when you finally drop those final pesky pounds. But you’ll worry about that officially on January 1 — until then the calories don’t count as long as you’re thinking of getting rid of them and how much it will cost to sign up for that gym membership.

And then there’s that moment where you’re all, “Fluff it. Maybe in 2015.” And you have another glass of champagne.

Just like these cats. Here are 10 New Year’s resolutions that never had a chance:

1. Kick that drinking problem

Adam Jefferson" />

“But it tastes so much better with my head stuck in the glass!”

2. Figure out how to open the door telepathically

rfduck" />

“But my brain is the size of a peanut!”

3. Spend less time sitting on the couch

angela n." />

“But there’s so much good stuff on the DVR!”

4. Kick that stinky shoe-huffing problem

µû╣þæ£" />

“But I love the smell of toe fungus!”

5. Make the dog disappear

Kricket" />

“But who will I blame the broken vase on?”

6. Drop 10 pounds

Joshin Yamada" />

“But how will I seduce the humans to touch my tummy so I can enjoy the sweet reward of biting their hands?”

7. Don’t let the humans commit this kind of humiliation

Beck Gusler" />

“But they promised treats!”

8. Grow a decent mustache and become Internet famous

Maria Morri" />

“But hey, this isn’t actually a mustache- this is just a weird spot on my face.”

9. Kick that toilet paper shredding problem

Artual" />

“But it feels so good between my claws.”

10. Stop letting the humans publish videos to the Internet without paying royalties

Lindsay Attaway" />

“But I’m ready for my closeup!”

What resolutions have you already made? (And broken?)

Top photo: beautiful young winking woman with long hair in a fashion dress with cat ears on her head and a glass of champagne in hand by Shutterstock

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