Human vs cat: 12 times it’s obvious no human could ever win

Sometimes, love is a battlefield. And this isn’t just true of romantic relationships, it’s also true of love between friends, family, and our pets (who are family too

All is fair in love and war. Though when it comes specifically to our pet cats, it does nearly always feel like we’re on the losing end, at least for the vast majority of battles. How can we possible resist the allure of a kitty’s purrs, and those teeny meeps that seem specially contrived (okay, they probably are specially contrived) to make us fawn over our cats?

It’s hard to say no the first time, but it’s even harder not to be worn down and to continue to say no after the 5th time a cat begs. And you know kitty’s going to keep pushing it. Here are 12 times it’s pretty obvious, while a human may win a battle or two against their pet cat, there’s no way the kitty’s going to be anything besides the victor at the end of the war.

My money is on the cat. Every time.

Picture from post Kitty Camouflage

Human Versus Cat: Domestic Battles & Wars Cats Always Seem to Win

1. The door war.
   You want it closed, but no matter which side of the door your cat is on, he or she is going to want to get on the other side of it, and then want to get back to the side he or she came from, over and over again until time immemorial. We humans should really learn to accept it: we may win a battle or two but there’s no way we’re gonna win one of these door wars.
2. The litter box clean up.
   You think you waited for your cat to “go” the last time before cleaning. But just as soon as your done, your cat’s going to use the litter again. Guaranteed. Kitty probably doesn’t even need to go, but it’s clean, so he or she’s gotta break the fresh litter in.
3. The open can of tuna.
   Listen, you’re either going to give your cat a teeny bit of that tuna can you just opened for yourself right there or you’re gonna hand over some other snack, because ain’t no way kitty’s going to stop putting up a fuss if the smell of tuna’s in the air.
4. The daily shed-fur struggle.
   It’s in your bath tub, it’s on your fridge, it’s all over your bed and stuck to all your favourite black clothes. Heck, it’s even somehow managed to make it into the cup of coffee you just made yourself. You see it, you wear it, you even ingest it. If you think you can fight it, you’re wrong. Cat fur can never be defeated.
5. The clothing drive.
   Your clothes may start out as your clothes, but given some time, any piece your kitty really likes is almost certain to be donated to him or her. Looking for your favourite hoodie? Find kitty sleeping on it? You’re not wearing that today. See your cat kneading on your wool sweater often enough, you may just convince yourself you weren’t all that fond of it anyway, stop wearing it, leave it out, and begin to label it “kitty’s sweater” officially.
6. The stay-still-so-kitty-can-nap-on-you battle.
   You may think it’s an absolute pain in the a** to make sure you’re still enough so your cat can have a snooze on you, but as much as you may believe this and tell yourself it’s ridiculous not to budge, you’re going to hold still anyway. Yes, you may need to pee, but kitty sleeping on you is just so cute to move right now. Don’t mind the numb legs, it’s just a representation of your loss of this war.
7. The clawed furniture.
   This obviously had to make it into a list like this. You are not going to win every single battle against your cat, and in the scratching department, this is truer than ever. While you can train your cat not to scratch up your furniture, that may end up requiring sacrifices, like a hostage trade for the safety of the couch or sofa if kitty can can instead contribute to the swift demise of the rugs. Your cat’s going to will win one way or another, it’s easier to realize this and give something up than to lose everything you love in the process of the scratching war.
8. The stray at the door or the window.
   You are legitimately not going to leave that new cat outside to fend for itself. There’s no way. Just give up pretending now, a cat shows up and meows for some food, you’ve got a new cat. No, there isn’t a way around it.
9. The sleeping in the bed rule.
   Don’t want your cat to sleep in bed with you? Close the door at night to enforce this? Think it’s strange to have a pet in bed, especially since you’ve got an outdoor cat who comes in with dirty paws frequently? This decision may start out being your choice, but with enough pitiful meows and pawing at the bedroom door, over time, if your cat wants to be bunk buddies, you’re going to give in. May take years, but it’ll eventually happen.
10. The daily food begging.
    Got a cat who whines for food? Join the club. If your cat doesn’t wake you up for food in the morning or cry all day long for kibble, you’re actually out ahead of a lot of cat owners. See, it’s really easy to accidentally train your cat to beg for food, ’cause, let’s be honest, it’s hard to resist their cute little mews. Best thing you can do if you’re a little too lenient with the snacks? Give in, but prevent overfeeding with this easy trick.
11. The I-want-attention-when-you’re-working struggle.
    No, you are not going to win. I don’t care if you have a deadline first thing in the morning tomorrow and you procrastinated like mad up ’til now, your cat wants attention you are going to be distracted by your cat. You cannot even win one battle of this war.
12. The ownership confusion.
    You may think you’re a cat owner, but over time, even if you don’t realize it in the beginning, you’ll see that it’s actually your cat who owns you.

What Do You Think About the Cat VS Human Struggle?

Can you think of any more times it’s obvious we humans should preemptively accept defeat because it’s obvious we can never truly win the war against our cats?

Is there anything on the list above that struck you as highly accurate of life with a cat?

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!