6 Bad pictures of my cats that predate digital photography

Photography has come a long way. Thanks to the digital age, we’re able to snap as many photos as we’d like and simply delete the duds. Those of us who take an exorbitant amount of cat pictures couldn’t be happier. It wasn’t always that way — let’s take a walk down memory lane.

Even before the advent of affordable digital technology, I was madly taking photos of my cats and loved framing them. I’d buy a roll of film, load it into the camera and pray my cats would cooperate. This is the part where you laugh. Then I’d race to Walgreen’s and drop off the film. I couldn’t wait to retrieve my beloved photos and usually tore open the paper envelope before I even left the store.

Let me be truthful here: Most of the photos were unusable. How was I to know? There was no viewing screen on my cheap little Kodak. Sure, I could have run back to the store and bought more film, but I was young and dirt-poor. I accepted the pics I was dealt, until my next payday, when I could afford to buy more film and pay for developing.

I was recently thinking it would be funny if I were still using a film camera and decided to frame all the photos in my developed roll — even the bad ones. What would people say when they came to visit and saw all the jacked-up cat photos adorning my walls and side tables? I have some ideas.

Here are six classic examples:

1. Fuzzy cats in fuzzy photos

Ah, the holidays! What a fun time for humans and cats alike. My cats adore the Christmas tree and spend most of the holiday season curled up underneath that piece of the great outdoors that somehow came indoors. I’ve taken my fair share of blurry pics, and one would certainly be framed on the hall of fame … or shame? This would make a fine Christmas card, no?

2. I’m ready for my close-up

When I lean in for a close-up shot, my cats sometimes decide to lean in as well, resulting in a photo featuring a giant eyeball or nose. I’ll bet if this photo were framed and hanging on the wall, the eye would follow my guests as they moved about the room. The creepy cat-eye photo may deter them from ever returning to my home. This would be a great way to ward off unwelcome visitors.

3. Quick-change

Just when I think I have the perfect pose, my kitties occasionally decide to switch positions. Sometimes the positions result in an even better photo, but — who am I kidding — they usually develop into something weird. Like a sudden urge for butt-licking. Don’t you think my guests would enjoy this lovely photo hanging over the sofa?

4. The head snap

My cats have a gift for looking directly into the camera lens, and then quickly turning away as soon as the shutter snaps. This results in a lovely photo of the side or back of my cat’s head. Would you like one or two sheets of wallet-sized photos?

5. The rear view

Not only will my cats turn their heads, they sometimes decide to give me a rear view. Visitors would probably pause in front of this photo and wonder why it’s so prominently placed for all to see. I’d explain it was the best of the roll, so I decided to frame it. Then they’d politely nod and decide it would be pointless to ask about the framed photo of Phoebe licking her behind.

6. Laser eyes

FYI: The flash is not always your friend. I’m quite certain we’ve all amassed our fair share of laser-eyed cat photos. I actually think they look sort of cool sometimes. Laser cats are kind of trendy, right? I’d probably frame this one anyway, opinions be damned.

Laugh with us:

• 5 Ways I Irritate My Cats — and I Can’t Help Myself
• 5 Ways My Cats Have Taught Me to Stay Warm
• Texts from Mittens the Cat: Holiday Misfortunes Edition

Read more by Angie Bailey:

• Do Your Cats Demand Snuggle Time Like Mine?
• Texts from Mittens: The “Antiques Roadshow” Edition
• And Now, 5 Photos of My Cats Caught in the Act
• What Happens When My Cats Tell Me What to Wear
• 5 Ways My Cats Completely Own Me
• My Cats Are Addicts: 5 Reasons They Would Land in Rehab
• Do You Ever Wish You’d Given Your Cat a Different Name?
• What if Cats Held Office Jobs? Worst. Cubicle Mates. EVER!
• 3 Ways You and Your Kids Can Help Big Cats

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.